Getting an identity

Luki got his first piece of mail this week. Now, I know it's a federal offense to open someone else's correspondence, but he hasn't really figured out how to use his opposable thumbs yet... and it could have been time sensitive material, like a check from an anonymous benefactor a la Great Expectations. But, alas, no such luck -- it was his social security card.

My first thought upon opening the envelope containing the nine digits that will identify my son for the rest of his life was, "ALRIGHT! Now we can add him as a dependent and get us a tax break!"...but the party in my head only lasted a little while. As I tried to commit his SSN to memory, I realized, for the first time, that Luki will become an adult. Yes, I know I've talked about how much and how fast he's growing...but I always figured he would just turn into a gigantic baby, not an adult who needs a social security number to apply for a credit card, file taxes, or get a mortgage.

And, while putting his card away in the safe where we keep our birth certificates, car titles, and piles of cash from our money laundering business passports, I thought about my mother and the little tin box where she kept all of our important papers. And I remembered the day she handed over custody of my social security card to me. I had been away at college for a week and needed it for my work-study job, so she and my father drove up from Charlotte to DC for the day just to put it in my hands. I don't know if Big E, who packed my bags for college as if I was going to Siberia, genuinely forgot to include such an important document, or if she was just in emotional denial about letting go. I will say that, although I didn't realize it at the time, on that day I took a step closer to independence.

So, if I was a cheesy and emotional mommy, I would end this post talking about how important it is to cherish every moment because "oh they grow up so fast". But that's Ton Ton's style, not mine...so I'll say this:

"Hey Luki! Now that you got a SSN, it's time for you to get a part-time job and start pulling your weight around here!"

It's our monthiversary! Part II

Yes, we are going to do this every month. Remember the annoying girl in high school who was always like "ohmigod my new boyfriend and I have been together for two whole months and we are so in love, we are totally going to be together forever, I got him this teddy bear holding a heart shaped box of chocolates to celebrate"...remember her? I am totally that girl and Luki is my high school boyfriend, except we really are going to be together forever.

Our son has made it through his second month of life! The premature baldness he was so upset about last month is a thing of the past, and there are new hairs sprouting on his little head. For years, men all over the world have been trying to find a cure for hair loss and my kid discovers it in a month. What can I say? I gave birth to a genius. He is currently negotiating a fair price for his hair growth secret with his grandpa Uli. A genius and a great businessman.

Other milestones from this month include: pulling mommy's hair, being full for more than two hours at a time, and discovering that those two things fluttering in front of his face are actually his hands. But his greatest accomplishment this month is his newfound ability to sleep 6-7 hours straight at night. Go Luki, Go Luki, Go! Don't stop 'til you get to 12!

Ton Ton and I also survived, and we barely got sharted on! We finally figured out that we should stand to his side when we change his diaper and not directly in front of the firing cannon (clearly, he gets the genius genes from us!).

So like ohmigod, I totally have a 2 month old! I've been doodling I heart Luki all over my notebooks...

There's a new gordo in town.

My little brother, Ani, is home for a week before he heads off to Atlanta to finish up his undergraduate degree at Georgia Tech. He spent this summer in Boston interning for Raytheon and only came home once before -- for his nephew's birthday. A few days before his arrival, Big E began preparing industrial sized quantities of his favorite foods because, "last time your brother was here we were so caught up with Luki's birth, that I hardly paid any attention to him!" Big E is convinced that when Ani is not home eating her food, he is simply not eating anything at all.

Like any good Cuban mother, Big E has a special kind of love for her only male offspring, her little boy, her gordo (even though he is tall and lean). A love so special that, when I was pregnant, she actually admitted to me that one of the reasons she wanted Belly to be a girl was so that el gordo's place in her heart and our family would not be compromised. Well...I'm sorry everybody, but Luki is here to steal the show!

Now, as much as Big E tries to keep her gordo center stage, she cannot help herself; Luki is just too darn cute! Plus, we've already established that he has magical powers. This is a basic snapshot of what this week has been like so far:

Big E (to Ani): So, you are applying to grad school at MIT and Stanf...DID YOU SEE THAT? DID YOU SEE? LUKI JUST SMILED AT ME! HE KNOWS WHO I AM!

Big E (to Ani): ...do you think you'll take Raytheon's offer? Well if they are willing to pay for your grad...LUKI IS TRYING TO TALK TO ME! LOOK AT THAT, HE IS TRYING TO SAY ABUELITA!

Big E (to Ani): Are you ready for the GRE? What time is...WHY IS LUKI CRYING? NO, NO, GIVE ME THAT BABY, YOU GUYS DON'T KNOW HOW TO COMFORT HIM...

Big E (to Luki): YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, MOST PERFECT LITTLE BOY I'VE EVER SEEN! ABUELITA LOVES YOU SO MUCH! (to Ani): gordo, I love you too.

It's our monthiversary!

All of our friends with children warned us about this, and it is absolutely true. Time flies when you have a baby! Luki is one month old today even though I just pushed him out yesterday! I guess I need to start packing his bags, because next week he will be heading off to college.

If Luki was our employee, his probation period would be over and we'd have an evaluation. He would totally get to keep his job! Of course, we'd give him a few tips about trying to not shart or throw up on his parents as often, but overall he'd get positive reviews for: sleeping 4-5 straight hours at night, his amazing neck control, and his ability to focus and track objects with his eyes. Oh, and he'd definitely get points for melting our hearts with the ever increasing smiles. We have yet to catch them on camera, but they happen.

Although, the truth of the matter is that we are his employees. I wonder if he'd let us keep our jobs...our evaluations would probably go something like this:

"Mom, thanks for the breast milk; it's really good, but I do not find it amusing when you put your nipple in and out of my mouth just to see my reaction, please, do not mess with my food. And Dad, I really appreciate that you play guitar and sing me to sleep...but could you stop belting out the Christmas carols? Not sure if you've noticed, but it is August, not December! And one last thing everybody, I know I'm going bald, I can see it, you don't have to constantly remind me of it...I'm sensitive about my receding hairline!"

Congratulations on surviving a whole month with us Luki! You are a true champ!

Luki Potter and the missiles of poop

As I was changing Luki's diaper earlier today, I got some poop on my finger. I finished wrapping up his bottom and casually went to the bathroom to rinse off. There was human feces on my finger, and I remained unfazed.

Babies have magical powers!

In the past three weeks everything and everyone in our house has been peed, pooped, or vomited on. And what do we do? Either ignore it or, better yet, laugh!!

A couple of days ago, Big E was changing his diaper, and just as she had taken the dirty one off...Luki decided to shart. Like a missile, poop traveled at least three feet across the room and landed on the couch, the floor, the cushions, a book; it was everywhere. Fortunately, Big E has good reflexes and was able to save herself. Our reaction? To laugh hysterically.

On Sunday, he did it again...in front of company! Ton Ton was changing him and he fired another massive poop missile. Sadly, Ton was not as lucky as Big E and ended up having to change his t-shirt. Our friend, who witnessed the entire scene, described it as: "amazing, incredible, never seen anything like it"...and, of course, "hilarious."

How has shit gone from being the most disgusting thing ever to eliciting laughter?

I'll tell you how...Luki is a wizard and has us all under a spell.

I, personally, have not been acting like my usual self since my water broke. For one, my level of patience has multiplied tenfold. Despite the fact that sometimes Luki cries even though he is not hungry, dirty, or being mauled by rats; I have yet to throw him across the room. Plus, I've become super organized...I never take off Luki's dirty onesies and throw them on the floor, like I do my own clothes. And...I seem to no longer need sleep to stay alive!

Luki is transforming me into a mom! Must...resist...the...urge..to...buy...high-waisted...jeans....

One week down, a lifetime to go

Luki has been home for a week and everybody is still alive and healthy...GREAT SUCCESS!

Although...Big E is hanging by a thread. She will either give herself a heart attack if she continues to worry about every minute detail pertaining to the baby, or she will die of sadness when Ton Ton and I begin to restrict her visitations. Big E is a dilemma filled with pros and cons:

Con: Although she hasn't officially moved in, she is here all the time.
Pro: She brings food with her.

Con: She is constantly nagging us about the need to disinfect everything: baby's bottles, pacifier, our sheets, and, my boobs.
Pro: She is always happy to disinfect Luki's butt when he sharts (shits + farts).

Con: She always wants to hold the baby, even when he's placidly sleeping in Ton Ton's arms.
Pro: She always wants to hold the baby, even when he's screaming at the top of his lungs...making it possible for Ton Ton to placidly sleep in my arms.

So far, I'd say the pros outweigh the cons, but if she tries to come at my nipple with a Clorox disinfectant wipe, I am drawing the line!!

Alright, enough about her, Luki is the star of this show and I'm sure you've been wondering what he's been up to for the past week. Well, we have discovered that he is remarkably like his parents.

1. He loves to eat. Basically, I'm a mobile food unit...a taco truck of sorts. Every two to three hours Luki walks up to the counter and orders the breast milk special, which he gulps down with gusto. When we took him to the pediatrician two days after being released from the hospital, he had already gained 5 oz and grown half an inch.

2. He likes the night life. Luki has figured that, if his parents won't take him out to 'get his club on', he will bring the entertainment to them. So, at around midnight, he begins to belt out his favorite musical note... LAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! LAAAAAAAAAAAA! It's so thoughtful of him to want to sing for his parents.

3. Music makes him happy. We play music for him all the time and it has a very calming effect...except for my singing. For some reason, when I sing he gets even more upset; I guess his hearing is just not mature enough for such raw talent. He also began his musical training, here he is getting his first guitar lesson...

And us? Well, Ton Ton and I are tired, but we are enjoying every minute we get to spend with our baby. And, our kid handling skills have improved substantially over the past week. Diapering has gone from a two man, four hand operation to a quick one person job, and last night we bathed Luki without Big E's supervision. Pretty good for two people who had never handled a newborn before!

Week's activity that made it all oh, so real: Rearranging our kitchen cabinets and replacing our wine and shot glasses with baby bottles, nipples, and breast pump accessories.

Belly Yankee, the next reggaeton superstar

I've done the math. Even though we will be getting a tax break for Belly, it will not be nearly enough to cover diapers, childcare, health insurance, food, clothes, etc., etc., etc. So...Ton Ton and I are hoping (fingers crossed, knock on wood) that Belly can get a part time job sometime around age 2. Ever since I got pregnant, we've been preparing to cultivate certain skills in our baby that will make him or her stand out in this very competitive job market. Our focus will be in two core areas: languages and music.

It's a no brainer that Belly will be bilingual. I am from Cuba and Ton Ton is from Venezuela, so our little Cubazuelan-American will definitely speak English and Spanish. For the past nine months, we have been stocking up on all manner of didactic tools in the inglés and español: books, flash cards, interactive games, you name it. (As an aside, there is also the possibility of us giving birth to the next great dictator, another very lucrative career. The name Hugofidel was a close second, after Lucas, for a boy.)

As far as music, as you saw in my last post, I am practically a professional singer; and Ton Ton really is a hell of a guitar player. We hope that Belly will inherit some of his talent, and the rest will be garnered from a constant exposure to good tunes. Ton Ton has been working on a special iPod playlist for baby from the moment I peed on the stick.

Ideally, Belly will fuse his or her language and musical abilities to come up with something really great (and profitable!).

In an attempt to scout out the competition, I recently googled "Latin Grammy's best children's album," and what I found is truly remarkable. The 2008 winner of the Latin Grammy for Best Latin Children's Album was Miguelito with his record, "El Heredero." Allow me to introduce him:



For those of you who do not speak the español, Móntala means "Ride her".
My personal favorite lines from the song:

"Y ya llego miguelito
Como siempre a montarla
Si no abre la puerta pues
Yo voy a tumbarla"

Very loosely translated:

"Miguelito has arrived,
as always, to ride her.
If she doesn't open the door,
I will knock it down"

Looks like Belly has some tough competition to look forward to!