Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The cost of pushing

So I got this little gem in the mail a couple of days ago. $9,719.15. That's how much it costs to be in pain for twelve hours; pee, poo, and vomit in front of complete strangers; and have your vajayjay on display for the world to see. And, this is actually less than most births because I didn't get the epidural. Have I mentioned that I didn't get the epidural? Well I didn't, you know, because I'm scared to death of being poked in the back with a needle brave and hardcore like that.

Anyway, I have three things to say about this:

1. Thank God I have insurance, otherwise, Ton Ton would have to sell a kidney in order to afford his baby.

2. How is it that something women have been doing since the beginning of time now costs 10K? For that kind of money, kids should come with some sort of guarantee or refund/exchange option. I, for one, would go to the hospital and ask for a baby who didn't treat my boobs like they were crack. Oh, and while we're at it, can I get one that looks at least a little bit like me and not EXACTLY like his father?

3. I've always been a proponent of universal health care, and now I am even more convinced that this country needs to go in that direction. It isn't just about health, it's about life! Having a baby is a right, not a privilege reserved for those who can afford it or have insurance. Babies are expensive enough as it is; getting smacked with a ten thousand dollar fine for pushing is just outrageous!

Ok, I'm off my soap box now, and I must bid you adieu, my little crackhead needs a hit...

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